I Don't Want to Go Back Alone
by lunalongbottom2448
Summary: Dean is the new kid, Castiel is blind. Romantic angst and fluff ensues. (Based on the short film, "Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho")
1. Chapter 1

Being the new kid was always terrible, and nobody knew this better than Dean Winchester. His dad's job dragged his younger brother Sam and him all around the country, so they had been to over ten schools in half as many years. They'd had far more than their fair share of first days. However, Sam had a talent for making everyone fall in love with him on sight, so he was never without friends. Dean, on the other hand, just counted himself lucky if he found a couple hot cheerleaders to hook up with, never mind friends. He wasn't interested in getting close to anyone, especially not when he knew they would eventually be leaving everything and everyone behind.

This time was different though. It was already October, so they had missed the beginning of the school year. But their dad had promised them that since this was Dean's senior year, they would be staying here in Pontiac, Illinois, at least until he graduated. Naturally, Sam was thrilled. Dean, not so much. Up until this point, he'd been able to get away with doing pretty much whatever he wanted, knowing they'd be long gone in a matter of months anyway. Now that they were sticking around, he'd have to be on his best behavior. Of course, that could only last so long.

They only lived a couple blocks from the school, so Dean decided to leave his Impala, the only longterm girlfriend he'd ever had, in their garage. He walked Sam up the street to their new school, Pontiac Township High, Sam chatting away about how excited he was and how great this year was going to be. Dean just listened in silence, not necessarily agreeing, but secretly thrilled to see Sammy so happy. They picked up their schedules from the office and parted ways, Sam heading off into a sea of other freshmen while Dean made his way towards the seniors' end of the school. As usual, he was the invisible new kid. Only one girl paid him any notice, and that was just to give him a small sneer when she saw his leather jacket. Still nothing new.

The day passed by normally, full of tired teachers and too much homework which he probably wouldn't do anyway. His last period was English, and he claimed the desk in the back corner immediately. He sat down and gave the classroom a once-over from this ideal view. Classic English room, complete with a dusty bookshelf along one wall and cheesy motivational posters featuring Snoopy and Garfield.

The bell rang and everyone got settled into their seats as the teacher walked in. He was a tall guy, probably in his forties, wearing a gray suit with a blue tie. Glancing down at his schedule, Dean saw that his name was Mr. Elkins. "Good morning, class!" he said in a booming voice. "We've got a new student here today. Dean, why don't you come up here and introduce yourself?"

Groaning inwardly, Dean stood up and made his way to the front of the room. He hated when teachers made him do this, but at least he was used to it by now.

"My name's Dean Winchester, just moved here from Michigan."

As expected, everyone either looked at him with blank expressions or stared at whatever they had on their desks as he talked, completely uninterested. That is, except one boy who was sitting in the front row. He had dark hair, pale skin, and freakishly bright blue eyes. And for some reason, he was staring directly over Dean's shoulder. At first Dean just thought he was zoning out, but the kid actually seemed intent on what he was saying. Before he could consider this anymore, Mr. Elkins was saying, "Thank you, Dean. Now, if you'd go grab your things from your desk, I've got a seating chart that I'd like to use."

Everyone in the room started groaning and complaining at these words. Dean went back to his desk and grabbed his bag as Mr. Elkins read off the names and who was sitting where. The only name that caught Dean's attention was "Castiel Novak," because seriously, who names their kid Castiel? He was only slightly surprised to see the blue-eyed kid sit in that spot. And he wasn't exactly disappointed when his name was called right after. He sat down in the seat behind Castiel, unfortunately in the front left corner of the room. He also happened to notice the girl who was placed next to Castiel, Jo Harvelle, pat him excitedly on the arm. Cas didn't even look at her, but she seemed totally unfazed. This kid was getting weirder by the second.

Of course, the whole situation made a lot more sense about ten minutes later. Mr. Elkins had told them all to copy the notes on the board, and as Dean pulled out a beat up notebook, he noticed their teacher bring over a typewriter for Cas. At first, this was just another strange thing to add to his ever-growing list of strange things. That was until he looked over Cas's shoulder to see him typing in Braille.

Dean was suddenly twice as interested in the dark haired boy as he had already been. He'd met a couple of blind adults before, but never someone his own age. Dean was so distracted by watching the patterns of dots moving across the page, that he jumped when some girl in the back of the class called out "Elevator up!" after the typewriter dinged. The rest of the class started laughing, and Dean looked back to see that it was the same girl who had sneered at his jacket that morning. Cas kept staring ahead, no break in his typing. It was just a joke, and normally Dean would have laughed along with everyone else. But for some reason, he felt a surge of protection for Cas, and he was close to turning around and telling off the whole class, especially that one bitch. He might have actually gone through with it, but Jo beat him to it.

"Seriously? That joke has never been funny. How many times are you gonna repeat it?"

The girl didn't seem bothered by Jo's scolding, and neither did the other kids, but Dean was happy she'd spoken up anyway. Cas must have had enough to worry about without some dumbasses making things worse for him.

The rest of the class passed by uneventfully. When the bell rang, everyone bolted for the door except for Dean, Jo, and Cas. Dean slowly put his notebook away as he watched Cas stand up and take Jo's arm before she led him towards the door. Just before they walked out, she turned around and asked Dean with a smile on her face, "Did you drive or walk this morning?"

"Walk," Dean replied, a confused expression on his face.

"Yeah, most of us do, actually. You wanna walk home with us?"

Now, normally Dean would have turned her down flat. He wasn't sure if he was ready for any permanent relationships, and an invitation to walk home from school was definitely an offer of friendship. But maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to give it a shot. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Not to mention he was pretty eager to learn more about Cas, although he still wasn't sure why.

He put on a small smile and said, "Sure," and he was surprised to see a smile from Cas. Before, he'd had practically no expression at all, but now his face lit up with a wide grin. Dean's smile grew to match Cas's before he stood up and followed the pair out into the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel was admittedly pretty excited when Dean agreed to walk home with him and Jo. Normally, the pair spent all of their time together alone. It was a nice change to have someone else joining them.

Unfortunately, now he had to think of things to say. Talking to Jo was easy. She was one of the few people who treated him like a normal person, and he had known her for years. He wasn't used to talking to many other people. He ended up deciding to let Jo start the conversation. Maybe he'd be able to join in at some point.

"So Dean, what do you think of Pontiac so far? Disappointed by the high school, I assume."

Cas heard Dean chuckle quietly before replying, "Yeah, but all high schools are the same. Trust me, I've been to enough to know. You just learn to expect the boring teachers and the gross lunches."

Cas zoned out for a bit at that point, a common occurrence for him. He was too distracted by Dean's voice to even pay attention to what it was saying. He'd been teased since puberty hit for his ridiculously low, gravelly voice, so he had been more than a little thrilled when Dean said his name in front of the class and the new boy's voice was almost as deep as his own. He'd taken advantage of the noise brought on by the seat change to ask Jo what Dean looked like. She had said he was almost a head taller than her with short, light brown hair and green eyes. She also mentioned that he was wearing a leather jacket, faded jeans, and a necklace with some sort of head on it. Somehow, Cas could picture him perfectly.

Bringing his attention back to the present, he felt the tell tale sign of wind on his face to let him know they were now outside. Jo carefully led him down the front steps, and they turned left down the street towards the neighborhood where many of the students lived. She and Dean continued to talk about their various classes and Cas was feeling the ever-growing pressure to contribute to this conversation. He hadn't said one word so far, and that was definitely not the best way to make friends.

"Cas, what'd you get on that math test today?" Jo asked him eventually. He was so thankful he could have kissed her.

"Nothing to brag about, I suppose," he said, impressed with the steadiness of his own voice. "A 76."

"Well, don't feel too bad. I only got an 86 after all. And Mrs. Long is an awful teacher anyway. Did you have to take that test, Dean?"

"Probably shouldn't have needed to on my first day, but yeah," he replied. "It's pretty much the only class I'm good at though, so it wasn't a big deal."

"You're good at math? Maybe you should tutor Cas! You've been saying that you need help, right Cas?"

Cas sincerely hoped that he wasn't blushing, or at least that they couldn't see it. He had always been a straight A student except for math, and he didn't like the idea of showing off his one area of failure. But maybe this would help him get to know Dean without being forced to make uncomfortable small talk.

"I'd like that," Cas said after a short pause, only a slight note of awkwardness in his tone. "If you don't mind, Dean."

"Nah, I don't mind! Maybe tomorrow after school? You can come over to my house, if you'd like."

Cas had to hold back a huge grin at Dean's genuine enthusiasm. He'd half expected to hear a guilty refusal, and certainly not any sort of pleasure. "That would be wonderful. Thank you, Dean."

"No problem," Dean answered, still sounding surprisingly pleased.

Only a few seconds later, Jo said, "We're here!" Cas reached into his coat pocket and handed her the keys to his front door. After a moment, she pushed the door open for him and handed the keys back.

Before walking inside, Cas turned and said, "Thank you again, Dean. I'll see you both tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, Cas."

"See you tomorrow morning!"

Smiling, Cas closed the door behind him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. Not only was he well on his way to making the first new friend he'd had in ages, but he already had an invitation to said friend's house. He still didn't understand why Dean was so eager to help him, but it only made him like the new boy more.

His family didn't mention it, but they all wondered why he was smiling so much that night at dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

After dropping Cas off at his house, Dean started to head farther down the street. He only made it one step before realizing that Jo wasn't following him.

"Not going this way?" he asked.

"Nope," she replied. "I live a couple blocks that way." She pointed back the way they had come. "I just walk Cas to and from school everyday."

"So you guys are pretty good friends, huh?"

"Since kindergarten," she said with a fond smile. "No one really paid him much attention after the novelty of him being blind wore off. And then some kids started picking on him, so I stepped in. Been best friends ever since."

Dean didn't know how to reply to this. He couldn't exactly relate, after all. Besides Sam, he'd never had someone that stuck up for him or that he could stick up for. No one that wasn't family had ever taken a real interest in him.

The silence didn't last long, thankfully, because Jo continued almost right away. "Thanks for walking with us today, Dean. I think Cas gets a little lonely sometimes, with just me for company, you know?"

"I'd like to walk with you guys again tomorrow... I mean if that's okay?" He hadn't actually planned that out before he said it. It wasn't like him to ask to spend time with people. But then again, this day had already brought on a surprising amount of newness. Why not add a bit more?

"Of course!" Jo's face lit up. "You could even walk with us tomorrow morning, if you'd like. I usually pick up Cas at 7:30."

"Yeah, I walk past here with my brother, Sam. He'd probably like to meet you two."

"Great, I'll see you then!" After one more bright smile and a small wave, Jo headed back up the street.

Dean walked slowly towards his house, lost in thought. Today had been a strange day, all right. He'd made more friends in the past hour than he'd ever had at once in his whole life. He wasn't feeling much like himself, actually. But if things continued this way, he thought he might start to like Pontiac.

Sam got up even earlier than he normally did that morning. Unfortunately for Dean, that meant being woken up early himself. This would have put him in a decidedly terrible mood, but Sam's enthusiasm was contagious, as always.

Sam had gotten home about an hour after Dean the day before. Whenever he got the chance, Sam liked to do his homework in the school library. Apparently, it was "a more peaceful environment" than at home. He'd been particularly excited by how close they lived to their new school for this very reason.

As soon as Sam stepped in the door, he had peppered Dean with questions about how his day had gone, if he liked his classes, if he'd met anyone nice. Sam couldn't have been more thrilled when Dean told him about Cas and Jo. And when Dean asked him if he'd like to walk with them to school the next day, Sam was practically jumping in his seat. He had kept mentioning how happy he was that Dean had met new people so quickly, and that he was so excited to meet them.

That excitement carried over to the next morning, and Sam was in such a great mood that it even affected Dean. He had never been a morning person, but now he actually had something to look forward to when he woke up.

They left at 7:20, and arrived at Cas's house right as Jo did. She was almost as cheery as Sam. Dean made some quick, probably unnecessary, introductions as they walked up to Cas's door. He answered almost immediately. Dean hadn't really noticed yesterday, but he realized now that Cas had a slightly strange wardrobe. Today, he was wearing a pair of tan slacks and a blue, button down shirt. But what really caught Dean's attention was the trench coat. Not exactly what you'd expect to see a teenage guy wearing, and on anyone else, Dean probably would have thought it looked incredibly stupid. But somehow, it worked for Cas.

Cas took Jo's left arm, and the four teens made their way up the street. Sam immediately started a conversation about school, classes, and several other nerdy topics that Dean found mind-numbingly boring. However, Cas seemed genuinely interested in what Sam had to say, and vice versa, so Dean couldn't bring himself to change the topic. Instead, he just walked silently beside them, half-listening to what they were saying and half-basking in how well they were getting along. Looking over at Jo, he saw that she was doing something similar.

The day after that went unreasonably slowly. Dean was more excited to hang out with Cas than he would ever admit, even if it was just to teach him math. When the last bell finally rang, he collected his things a bit faster than normal and followed Cas and Jo out into the hall, same as yesterday.

"Still ready to learn some math, Cas?" Dean asked. It occurred to him now that Cas had possibly forgotten.

"Yes, I'd still like that," Cas said with a small smile.

Suddenly, something else occurred to Dean. "Jo, would you like to come over too?" Dean hadn't realized before now that there may be some issues teaching Cas math when he couldn't see. Jo's help might make things a bit easier.

"Sure, that sounds great," she answered, sounding almost grateful, unless Dean was mistaken.

Problem solved, Dean realized that he had felt a slight twinge of disappointment at Jo's reply. He had absolutely no idea why. He'd asked her himself, after all, and she was just as much his friend as Cas was. After a few moments, he decided there was no point dwelling on it. He proceeded to brush it off as nothing and instead started to think of various examples he could use to teach Cas calculus.

Much better use of his time.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas was enormously grateful to Dean for helping him with his math. However, that didn't mean he was a fast learner. Dean was very patient, and Jo interrupted her own work to help whenever Dean had trouble getting his point across. Sam even came up to Dean's room when he got home and tried to pitch in. But certain things still didn't make sense. After almost two hours, they all agreed that it was best to stop. Cas was feeling guilty for taking up so much of Dean's time, and he honestly felt like he had been a terrible student. So Cas was duly surprised when Dean immediately suggested that they pick up where they left off the next day. Surprised, but pleased.

After that, going to Dean's house to study became an everyday occurrence. Even when Cas finally began to understand his assignments in math, they still did the rest of their homework together, with Sam joining in whenever he got home. It became the highlight of Cas's days.

It took almost three weeks before something happened to change their plans. Jo got a call from her mom while they were walking home. She said that she needed to work late that night, so Jo had to go home to walk and feed their dog. Jo apologized profusely, but Dean and Cas assured her that it was fine. She gave Cas's hand a light squeeze before letting go of him and walking back the other way towards her house. He could have sworn she sounded upset when she said goodbye.

Cas immediately reached for Dean's arm, but he realized right away that he was on the wrong side. Grabbing Dean's shoulders, he pushed him over to the right side of the sidewalk and grabbed his left arm like he normally did with Jo. Cas was confused when Dean stiffened and remained strangely silent. He hoped he hadn't somehow made him feel uncomfortable.

"Are you still there?" Cas asked, partly teasing, but also a bit concerned.

He could suddenly feel the tension drain from Dean, and the other boy replied in a carefree voice, "Yeah, still here." No hint of him ever having felt awkward or uneasy. Cas figured it must have been nothing.

Dean started to lead him down the street again, and Cas found that he liked the change. Not that there was anything wrong with following Jo, but this was different somehow. Even though he'd never walked with Dean before, Cas had never felt more confident in his steps.

Cas was confused again when they stopped sooner than he'd been expecting. "Where are we?"

"Your house," Dean said, as if it was obvious. "I just assumed that you'd want to go home since Jo can't come over."

Cas had definitely not been expecting that. Did Dean really think he only wanted to spend time with him when Jo was around? That couldn't have been farther from the truth. Sure, Cas had only known Dean for a few weeks, but he already felt almost as comfortable with him as he did with Jo. How could he let Dean know that?

"Cas?" Dean asked after a few moments of silence.

"I'd still like to work together," Cas replied hesitantly. "Maybe... that is, if you don't mind... we could just do it here?"

Now it was Dean's turn to be silent once again. He seemed lost in thought, and like before, Cas was worried that he'd done something wrong.

Thankfully, this still wasn't the case. After thinking about it for a few seconds, Dean replied, "Sure, I'd like that." If Cas wasn't mistaken, Dean almost sounded excited.

Dean led him up to his door, and Cas handed him the keys. Dean unlocked the door for him before handing them back and letting Cas lead him inside.

It was nice to be in an environment where he didn't need to be walked around. He wasn't embarrassed by it or anything, but he was still distinctly proud that Dean was getting to see him move around independently.

His dad wouldn't be home for awhile, and his older brother, Gabriel, would be out partying most of the night. Without anyone to introduce Dean to, he started heading up the stairs right away, Dean following closely behind. His room was the second door on the left, and as soon as they stepped inside, Dean said, "It's pretty warm in here, can I put my jacket on your desk?"

"Sure, that's fine," Cas replied as he sat down on his bed. Dean sat down at the desk chair and unpacked his books. After that, they were too focused on work to talk much. It was strange without Jo and Sam, but Cas liked this. It was almost peaceful working with Dean, just the two of them.

Almost an hour later, Cas heard Dean slam his Chemistry book shut with an irritated groan. A few minutes later, he asked, "Were you always like that?"

Cas stopped moving his fingers across the book he'd been reading, and waited for further explanation.

"I mean..." Dean sounded like he wasn't sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Have you always been blind?"

"Oh," was all Cas had to say at first. That had come as a bit of a surprise. Jo had been the only person to ever ask him that before. "Yes, since I was born," he said eventually.

"Is it... okay?" Dean continued. He sounded painfully awkward, and Cas got the sense that he'd been dying to ask these questions for a long time, and was just now getting the courage.

"Not all the time. Sometimes I get angry. But... everybody does, for some reason or another. I've just got a different reason than most people."

After a short pause, Dean quietly continued, "I don't know what I'd do if I was blind."

"You'd get used to it, of course," Cas replied. "And it's not so bad, you know. People do you all kinds of favors."

He was happy to hear Dean chuckle at that. He much preferred that to Dean being upset.

Before either of them could continue talking, the door opened, and Cas heard his dad saying, "How was your day bud— Oh, hello!"

"Dad, this is Dean," Cas answered before he could ask.

"Oh, it's good to meet you, Dean! Cas has told us a lot about you."

Cas desperately hoped Dean wasn't looking at him, because he was sure he was blushing. Thankfully, Dean didn't seem embarrassed. "It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Novak."

"You're welcome to stay for dinner. We're having tacos!"

"That sounds great, but I should be heading home. My brother is probably wondering where I am."

If Cas felt any disappointment at this, he didn't show it. After his dad closed the door behind him, he gathered up his things while Dean collected his books and his jacket. As Cas walked across the room to drop his books off on his desk, one of them fall off of the stack. Before he could retrieve it, Dean had already bent down and picked it up for him. Cas put the rest of the books on the desk, and Dean placed it back on top of them.

"You see?" Cas said with a slight smirk.

"What?"

"Favors."


	5. Chapter 5

Dean had never been happier. The last few months had been some of the best of his life, mainly thanks to Cas and Jo. He'd only known them for a short time, but they were already such a big part of his life. They still met up after school everyday to work on their homework, varying whose house they went to each day. They were close enough at this point that they usually ended up doing more talking than working. Sam joined them more often than not, although he had friends in his own grade too. The whole situation was unprecedented for Dean. It was beyond weird for him to have people besides Sam that he was willing, even eager, to spend as much time as he could with.

It wasn't perfect though. Starting in February, he began to notice some strange behavior on Cas's part. Nothing serious, but there were several times Dean could have sworn he saw Cas blush at something he said. And some days it seemed like Cas was actually avoiding speaking to him. Dean tried his best to ignore it, but it confused him nonetheless.

Had he done something wrong over the last three months? He didn't think so, but why else would Cas have started to act differently? None of the possible answers made any sense.

These worries were exactly why Dean was so thrilled when Cas asked him to be partners on their English project. Mr. Elkins had announced that boys had to partner with boys, and girls with girls. Immediately, Cas turned in his seat so that he was facing Dean and said, "Partners?" in a hopeful voice.

"Sure," Dean replied casually, trying his best to keep his tone normal. Cas smiled brightly at him before turning back around. Dean breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He was still concerned about the way Cas had been acting lately, but this helped to confirm that it wasn't because of something he had done.

His happiness was dampened considerably when he looked over to Jo and saw her distinctively jealous frown directed right at Cas. Guilt began to take over, and Dean watched awkwardly as Ruby, who was sitting behind Jo, asked her to be partners. Jo accepted, barely taking her eyes off Cas.

After class, Cas stood up and reached out for Jo's arm like he always did. But Jo just kept her arms at her side and said, "Ruby and I are going to work on our project in the library for awhile." Her voice was tense, but Dean could see that she was obviously more sad than angry.

She walked away after that without anything more than a short, "Bye," leaving the two boys standing alone by Cas's desk. Dean hated to see the confused and slightly hurt look that Jo's reaction had put on Cas's face. Without saying anything, Cas reached out for Dean's arm instead, and Dean led him out of the room and the school by himself.

"Dean," Cas began hesitantly after almost five minutes of complete silence.

"Hm?"

"Why do you think Jo seemed so unhappy just now?"

"Um... I think she might be sorta jealous."

"Jealous?" Cas stopped walking and pulled Dean to a halt. "Jealous of what?"

"Well, of us, I guess. She made it pretty obvious by looking over at you so much that she wanted to be partners with you. And... I think she might like you."

"Like me? Why would you think... But that doesn't make any... She's my friend!" Cas was getting more and more agitated by the second, letting go of Dean's arm to run his hands through his hair in obvious distress.

"Woah there, Cas, calm down! Just because she's your friend, it doesn't mean she can't like you more than that."

Cas didn't stop messing with his hair, and Dean was starting to get kind of scared by the way Cas was reacting to this. Finally, he grabbed both of Cas's wrists, apparently shocking him out of his panic.

"Listen to me, Cas. It's okay! There's no reason to freak out like this. You don't like her back?"

"No! Not that way at least! But... but what if this completely ruins our friendship, Dean? I don't want to lose her over something like this!"

"You won't," Dean reassured him, gripping Cas's wrists a little bit harder. "I'm sure she doesn't want to lose you either. Just give her some time, she'll get over it, and you guys will go back to normal, ok?"

Cas was silent for a moment before quietly answering, "Ok."

It was only then that Dean fully realized the position they were in, and he hastily let go of Cas's wrists. The now-familiar blush was growing on Cas's face. Judging by the burning in his own cheeks, Dean knew he didn't look much better.

Cas reached out for his arm after a few seconds, and Dean led him farther down the street. He couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that Cas didn't feel that way about Jo. This probably would have confused him if he hadn't shoved the thought out of his mind right away.

About a minute later, Dean said, "We don't have to work on our project tonight, if you'd rather not."

"No, no I still want to!" Cas replied right away, almost sounding surprised that Dean had suggested it. "We can go over to my house today, if you'd like."

"Sure, let's do that." Once again, Dean tried to keep the happiness out of his voice as he led Cas down the last block to his house.

When they reached Cas's room, Dean took off his jacket like he always did, dropping it on Cas's desk. When he turned back around, he was faced with the shocking sight off a shirtless Cas. Words utterly failed him at that moment, and he stared against his will, fighting to keep his mouth from hanging open.

Cas was only shirtless for a few seconds before putting on a t-shirt to replace the sweater he'd been wearing before. It was then that Dean broke out of the freaky spell he'd been under and went absolutely red with shame. "What the hell?" he repeated over and over in his head. Why had he reacted like that? This was Cas! His best friend, so why had Dean been turned into a thirteen year old girl at the sight of him without a shirt?

Cas must have noticed the awkward silence, because he shuffled his feet a few times before saying, "Sorry, I was warm."

Shaking his head once to clear his messed up jumble of thoughts, Dean hastily replied, "What? No man, don't worry about it, I didn't even notice. Just got distracted."

And if the words were slightly too rushed to be genuine, then that just couldn't be helped.

Cas seemed to accept Dean's response though, and Dean stepped out of his way so he could sit at the desk. Dean made his way over to Cas's bed and sat down on the edge. He was still struggling to stop internally panicking, and he honestly had no idea what to do for their project, so he just waited for Cas to say something.

He didn't for an uncomfortably long time, but eventually he said the last thing Dean had been expecting to hear. "Dean, why have we never met your father?"

This actually managed to shock Dean out of his silence. "Umm, no offense Cas, but why are you only asking me this now? We've been friends for months."

"Yes, I know. I suppose I just never knew how to bring it up."

Dean didn't think Cas had done a very masterful job of bringing it up just now, but he had no problem answering. "Our dad works a lot. Far from home. He's always traveling, sometimes for weeks. And when he's home, he still doesn't stop working. It's my job to take care of Sammy when he's not around. I've practically raised the kid. We've moved around a lot for as long as I can remember, so we never had a real home. This is the first time we've ever been in the same place for so long."

Dean hadn't meant to go on that long. He definitely hadn't meant to rant at Cas, but that was essentially what he had done. He waited for Cas to reply, which took a lot longer than Dean would have liked. "Well Dean... I'm very glad your father chose this place to stay."

Cas was just full of surprises today. Dean stared blankly at him, utterly clueless about why Cas seemed totally unfazed by Dean's mostly-unrelated answer to his question. "Thanks, Cas. Um... me too."

Ok, now this was just getting uncomfortable and bordering on a chick flick moment. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Dean said suddenly. He stood up and walked out of the room as quickly as he could.

It occurred to him halfway down the hall that that had probably not been the best way to follow up Cas's admittedly sweet comment. He felt irritating guilt creep into his mind, and it didn't take long for him to decide to turn around and go back.

He hadn't closed the door behind him when he left, so he prepared to walk right into the room and apologize. He was stopped dead in his tracks when he looked in and saw Cas holding up his jacket to his nose, smelling it hesitantly.

Every other surprise Dean had had so far that day (and there were way too many of them) seemed insignificant now. He had no logical explanation for what he was seeing, and his emotions were running in circles to match his thoughts. He remained absolutely silent as he watched Cas run his hand gently over the leather. Before he could panic enough to actually pass out in Cas's hallway, Dean turned around and walked quietly towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him when he reached it.

Dozens of explanations were competing in his mind, each more unbelievable than the last. But there were only two things he was absolutely sure of.

One: As much as he would have liked to hide in the bathroom forever, he would eventually have to go back and face Cas again, somehow without mentioning what he had just seen.

And two: This would definitely be the most awkward night of his life.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas had been aware of his feelings for Dean for almost a month now.

He had been feeling strange around Dean for weeks, more nervous and careful about what he said. He even began worrying about stupid things like his hair or what shirt he was wearing, and he asked Jo how he looked at least once a day. He began to think there was something wrong with him, but one day the three of them were sitting and talking in Dean's bedroom, and something clicked. He and Jo were laughing at one of Dean's jokes, and Cas was shocked to find himself resisting the urge to reach out to where Dean was sitting next to him and kiss him. Needless to say, Cas was a bit awkward around Dean from that point on.

Even though Cas had never been one to harbor many crushes, he had known he was bi for over a year now, so the possibility of him liking a boy wasn't in itself surprising. But he was still incredibly confused when he realized that Dean might be more than a friend to him. He was in denial for awhile, not wanting to do anything that could hurt their relationship, but eventually he realized that it was no use. He had a monumental crush on Dean Winchester, and there was no escaping it.

Unfortunately, this acceptance did nothing to make him more comfortable around Dean. He felt himself blushing all the time, and he couldn't stop it no matter how hard he tried. He only hoped Dean didn't notice. Sometimes he just gave up talking altogether, worried he would blurt out something stupid, but he hated feeling like he was ignoring Dean.

When Dean started to act more unsurely around him as well, Cas was concerned. The last thing he wanted was for Dean to think he was mad at him for some reason. So when their English project was announced, Cas was beyond relieved. He immediately turned in his seat to get Dean's attention, and when he asked him to be partners, he was happy to hear a very normal, "Sure," from Dean, no hint of any awkwardness.

Of course, the realization that Jo had a crush on him significantly decreased his happiness. He couldn't believe he had never noticed, and he sincerely hoped they'd be able to go back to normal soon. He had similar hopes for his friendship with Dean, although they had been abruptly erased when Dean grabbed his wrists to calm him down. That wonderful and new feeling that rushed through him at Dean's touch wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

That feeling was also why Cas couldn't resist picking up Dean's jacket when he suddenly ran off to the bathroom. He hesitated before holding it up to his face and, even though he felt rather strange doing this, lightly smelling it for a moment. Besides the overwhelming scent of leather, there was also something that was distinctively "Dean," and he smiled a bit while he gently stroked his hand across the jacket. After a few more seconds, his shame began to take over, and he quickly set it back down. He inwardly scolded himself, wondering when he had become some creepy teenage girl with a crush.

Dean came back almost five minutes later, and they finally started on their project, deciding to do it on Ancient Greece. Cas did his best to act normally while they researched and wrote their essay. Dean seemed normal himself for the most part, but he kept getting distracted and lost in thought. Cas mostly tried to dismiss this strange behavior. They ended up working until Cas's dad got home, when Dean said, "It's getting late, I'd better be going." He gathered up his things, and Cas walked him downstairs and to the front door.

"Goodbye, Dean. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Cas," Dean replied, and Cas desperately wished he could see the expression Dean was making. Just listening to Dean's voice gave him the impression that Dean was upset about something, but he couldn't be sure. All he could do was give Dean a small smile as he walked out and hope that this ridiculous crush would miraculously disappear before it affected their friendship for good.

He was beginning to think it already had.

The next day, Cas and Dean planned to meet up at his house again to finish their project. When the bell rang at the end of English class, Cas stood up and immediately reached out towards where he knew Dean's desk was. There was a pause where Cas was left wondering if Dean was ignoring him, but eventually Dean put a hand on his shoulder and Cas grabbed it before lacing their arms together.

Dean didn't start walking right away, but Cas was only left to wonder why for a moment before he heard Jo clear her throat and quietly say, "Alright well... I guess I should get to the library. I'll see you guys later." He heard her footsteps hurrying away, almost running, and he was suddenly hit by crippling guilt. But why should he feel guilty? He and Dean were the only ones going to his house, and Jo had refused to take his arm when he offered it yesterday. This whole situation had him feeling horribly conflicted, and he wished that he could be a better judge of Jo's reactions.

Dean finally led him out of the room, and Cas tried to put it out if his mind. As difficult as it was to accept, there was nothing he could do right now concerning Jo. Instead, he tried to focus on enjoying his time with Dean.

Dean seemed much more like himself today. He joked around more, and there was almost no hint of his distraction from yesterday. It was almost like they were back to normal, and Cas was thrilled.

They managed to finish their project in an hour, and after they had printed everything out, Dean asked him something that caught him by surprise. "How did you learn to read Braille?"

Cas stopped putting his English textbook away and dropped it back on his desk. He turned towards where Dean was sitting on his bed. "Come over here, I'll show you."

There was only a moment of hesitation before Dean got up and came to stand next to Cas's chair. Cas opened his textbook to a random page and began to run his hand over the page, saying, "Do you see these two dots before the letter? That means that it's a capital. And here it says, 'There are many different...' Wait, give me your hand."

Dean hesitated once again before putting his hand next to Cas's on the book. Cas put his hand over Dean's and guided him across the page, avoiding the realization that they were essentially holding hands. He led Dean over most of the page before letting go and saying, "You see? All it takes is some practice and it's not so hard."

"Yeah, not so hard..." Dean's voice was unsteady, and familiar worry creeped up on Cas as he began to fear he had done something wrong. "Um, sorry, I have to go." Before Cas could think of a response, Dean was already grabbing his backpack off of Cas's bed and walking towards his bedroom door. Cas began to get up to walk him downstairs. "No, no don't worry about it, I don't wanna cause you any or trouble or..." Dean was obviously scrambling for what to say, but all he managed to get out after that was, "I'll see you tomorrow, Cas," before he practically ran downstairs.

Cas was left sitting at his desk, his fear growing by the second. What had he been thinking? He'd clearly made Dean uncomfortable. Had he somehow given away his feelings? Or had he just made things more awkward between them? Either way, he was in a decidedly bad mood all night, and even Gabriel left him alone at dinner.

"Hey, Cas?"

Cas nearly jumped when Dean's whispering voice appeared only a few inches from his ear. "Hm?" he answered nervously.

"Sorry for leaving so quickly yesterday, I just... totally lost track of time. And um... I sort of forgot my jacket on your desk."

"That's fine. Can you pick it up after school?"

"Sammy's got a dentist appointment, and I've gotta take him. Could you maybe bring it tomorrow?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks, Cas." Dean leaned back in his chair and away from Cas's ear, and Cas was left more confused than ever. He had been sure that Dean would try to avoid him after last night, but he seemed almost normal again today.

After class finished, Cas turned towards Jo's desk, planning to ask her if she would be able to go home with him today. But he didn't get the chance to since she had already started talking to him.

"Cas, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jo." The whole class, including Dean, began filtering out of the room.

"Do you like Dean?" Jo said quickly, as if she was desperate to get it out.

Oh no. "Of course I do, he's my friend."

"You know that's not what I mean, Cas."

Cas's brain went into overdrive. Had he been that obvious? Did this mean Dean knew too? He didn't want to admit it out loud, but it was no use lying to Jo.

"Yes. I have for awhile. I think... I think I might be in love with him."

What? Where the hell had that come from? He'd never even admitted that in his own head! But the more he thought about it, he realized it was true. He had been in love with Dean for weeks and he hadn't even noticed.

Cas was distracted from his epiphany by Jo's response. "Oh, well... Good, that's good to know. Um..." Cas heard what was unmistakably a sniffle. It made him want to take back everything he had said. "I should be going, Ruby's waiting in the library."

She noisily gathered up her books and papers before running out of the room. Cas didn't say anything, just sat in his seat, wondering when everything had gone so wrong. What had happened to the easy friendship they'd enjoyed for months? The worst part was that he knew it was all his fault. If he had spotted Jo's crush before it got too strong and if he had tried harder to get over his feelings for Dean, he could have kept all of this from happening. But now he was left alone to walk home by himself, wallowing in his guilt and wondering how things could possibly be okay again.


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting in the empty dentist's office waiting room was one of the most painfully boring pastimes Dean could imagine. Sam's appointment was taking forever, and all he had to entertain himself was a TV playing the Disney Channel in the corner and a stack of magazines about health and fitness. It gave Dean plenty of time to think though, and he was thankful for that. The last few days hadn't been very easy for him and he had a lot he needed to sort out.

Two nights ago, after he'd finished composing himself in Cas's bathroom, he had finally worked up the courage to go back to Cas's bedroom. He struggled to keep his emotions under control, and he knew that he must have seemed very distracted, but his thoughts kept drifting to the memory of Cas smelling his jacket and what it meant.

After Cas's dad got home, Dean took it as his cue to go, and he said, "It's getting late, I'd better be going," as nonchalantly as he possibly could. Cas walked him to the door downstairs and said goodbye. Dean answered, but he was frustrated with how much anxiety his voice betrayed.

Walking the rest of the short way home by himself, Dean's thoughts wasted no time in fixating wholeheartedly on Cas and the jacket which Dean was once again wearing. There were very few viable explanations for what he had seen, and even Dean couldn't deny that the only truly probable one was that Cas had a crush on him. That thought terrified him. Cas was his best friend! Not to mention a guy.

But Dean was surprised to find that the idea of a friend having a crush on him was much worse than that friend being a guy. He had never considered the possibility that he might not only be attracted to girls, but now that he thought about it, there had been several instances where he found himself thinking about how attractive another guy was. Dean had always ignored those thoughts before, convinced himself they meant nothing, but he was beginning to think that there was a very good chance he was bi. He would have expected this revelation to be much more dramatic, but it was almost as if it had been a long time coming. No, the most difficult part of all this was that if Cas actually did have a crush on him, Dean would have to find some way to let him down without destroying their friendship.

That was when Dean's thoughts took a sudden U-turn. What if he didn't want to let Cas down? What if he actually felt the same way? This occurred to Dean right as he walked through the front door of his house. He called out a greeting when he saw Sam sitting in their living room, but he didn't wait for or hear a response. He was far too preoccupied with the definite possibility that Cas was more than a friend to him. He practically ran up the stairs and closed the door to his room, flopping down on his back on his bed.

The more Dean thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Why else would he have been acting so strangely around Cas lately? Like when he blushed earlier after grabbing Cas's wrists, and that relief he had felt but shoved away when Cas said he didn't return Jo's crush. Not to mention his embarrassment at their "chick flick moment" which basically led to the jacket incident in the first place. And all that had happened in the span of only a few hours! He'd been feeling this way around Cas for weeks.

But even if he did really have a crush on Cas, that didn't mean that Cas definitely had a crush on him. Maybe he'd just been imagining Cas's returned blushes, and maybe he'd simply been curious about the jacket and Dean was adding meaning to it.

Dean's unmistakable disappointment at this possibility was more than enough to convince himself that he actually did have a crush on Cas. He found himself not caring that Cas was a friend, not caring that he was a guy, just caring that he really, truly liked him. Maybe more than that.

Dean went to sleep that night still thinking about Cas and what would happen tomorrow when they talked. Now that he was looking for it, would Dean be able to determine if Cas definitely felt the same way? Or would Cas give him signs that his feeling weren't returned? Either way, Dean resolved to act exactly as he always had and not let Cas notice what was going on in his head.

By the end of English class the next day, Dean thought he had managed to do this rather well. Even the thrill he got at Cas reaching for his arm first and the terrible guilt he felt at seeing Jo's heartbroken face couldn't quite shake his calm demeanor. When they got to Cas's house to finish their project, they had joked around and laughed, and it had felt exactly like how they used to be around each other. Dean wasn't noticing any definite signs of Cas's feelings, but he was relieved to have his friend back.

Of course, that all came to a screeching halt when Cas held his hand. Because even though Cas was just doing it to show Dean Braille, it was definitely a hand hold. Dean couldn't even focus on what Cas was teaching to him. All he could think about was how soft Cas's hand was and how very different this was from his wrist grab yesterday.

When Cas eventually let go, Dean's voice was shaky and he could only manage a short reply to Cas's friendly, "Not so hard," comment. He was suddenly hit with an overwhelming need to leave. "Um, sorry, I have to go." He gathered up his things as quickly as he could, and noticed Cas getting up to walk him downstairs. "No, no don't worry about it, I don't wanna cause you any or trouble or..." As much as the look of confusion and maybe even hurt on Cas's face stung, he couldn't bear to keep up his facade of normalcy for another minute. The last thing he got out was, "I'll see you tomorrow, Cas," before he ran out of the room and the house.

If there was any doubt left about his feelings for Cas, it had been evaporated by that hand touch. Unfortunately, the day had given him absolutely no proof that Cas felt the same. In fact, he had seemed perfectly calm while he led Dean's hand across his book. Dean didn't intend to give up though. He had to know, and if that meant being patient and hiding his emotions for a few days, then so be it.

It only took Dean a few minutes to realize he'd forgotten his jacket on Cas's desk, but there was no way he was going back for it after the awful way he'd just left. He would just get it back tomorrow.

Of course, Sam's dentist appointment changed that plan a bit. Sam told him about it as soon as he got home, and Dean agreed to take him. It was far enough away that they would have to drive, and Dean never gave up an opportunity to use his baby.

Earlier that afternoon, Dean had apologized for the way he left the day before, and Cas agreed to bring his jacket to school tomorrow. Dean was extremely proud of himself for keeping cool and not betraying just how shaken up he had been or the reason he had forgotten his jacket in the first place.

And now he was sitting in a boring, dull-colored waiting room, examining his feelings in a way that made him feel far too much like Sam for comfort. Right as he had that thought, Sam finally emerged from the back room and walked up to the couch that Dean had completely taken up. Dean began to worry as he noticed the look on Sam's face. It was his signature "I can tell that something's wrong and we're going to have a heart to heart about it right now" face, one of Dean's personal least favorites.

"Okay, what's up? You've been acting weird for days."

"It's nothing, Sammy, don't worry about it."

Cue bitch face. "I'm your brother, of course I'm gonna worry about it. Come on, if you can't tell me, who can you tell?"

Normally, Dean would have just kept brushing it off until Sam eventually gave up. However, he couldn't help but think that talking to his brother, the expert on "feelings," might not be the worst idea in this situation.

"It's Cas," he finally said. "I've been thinking about him... differently lately, and... I don't know what to do."

"I knew it!" Sam's face lit up with a huge grin. "I knew there was something else going on!"

"What? How could you possibly know if I didn't?"

"Oh please Dean, anyone could see that you two were getting closer, and then Cas started acting differently, and then you did–"

"So you noticed that too? He really has been acting strange?"

"Of course. I've known he liked you for weeks, it was just you I wasn't so sure about."

Now it was Dean's turn to sport an embarrassingly large grin. If Sam thought that Cas liked him, maybe that was enough proof that he really did.

"I'm assuming you haven't said anything to him yet?" Sam continued. Dean shook his head. "Of course not." The bitch face was back, this time accompanied by an eyeroll.

"I wasn't sure if he felt that way..."

"Seriously, Dean? Even you couldn't miss the way he's been blushing and all awkward around you. You've gotta tell him!"

"What? I can't do that, Sammy! What would I even say?"

"The truth, stupid."

Dean had to admit that telling Cas about everything would probably be easier than dancing around the issue for weeks. He really didn't want to make the first move, but he was beginning to realize that he might have to.

"Ok, I'll tell him," he said after a few seconds.

"Yes! Go now."

"No, I'll just tell him tom–"

"No way. Drive me home, and then go over to his house right away. Not optional."

Dean knew better than to argue with his brother when he got like this. Besides, if he waited too long, there was a very good chance he would lose his courage.

"Fine, let's go, bitch."

Sam put on a relieved smile that quickly turned smug before replying, "Jerk, " and walking out of the office, leaving Dean to follow.

Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd been this nervous. He was getting a serious case of butterflies, and his hands were even shaking. It took him much longer than normal to reach Cas's house, but eventually he got to his front door. He knocked hesitantly and took a moment to compose himself before Cas's dad opened the door.

"Dean! You're here later than usual."

"Yeah, I had to take my brother to the dentist. Um, is Cas home?"

"He's right upstairs. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. He seemed a bit upset when I got home, but I didn't want to push him."

"Thanks Mr. Novak, I'll talk to him," Dean said before walking past Cas's dad and upstairs. He was more nervous than ever knowing that Cas was upset about something. He would really like Cas to be in a good mood for the conversation they were about to have.

Finally, Dean reached Cas's door. It was closed halfway, so he pushed it open before stepping inside. Right away, Cas jumped up from where he'd been sitting on his bed and exclaimed, "Jo!"

Dean froze. He hadn't been expecting that and now he didn't know what to say. Cas must have taken this as confirmation that Dean actually was Jo and continued talking.

"Jo, I'm really glad you came over. I've been feeling terrible about everything. I should have told you this before, but I knew about your crush and I shouldn't have told you how I feel about Dean."

Wait, what? Dean was still trying to find something to say, to interrupt Cas and let him know who he was, but it was as if everything that came to mind got stuck in his throat. So he just listened in shock.

"I mean... it was the truth, I guess. But I should have known how it would make you react. I don't blame you for leaving. I just... I can't help it, you know? I really am in love with him, and I didn't want to lie to you! I'm sorry..."

Dean's eyes widened. His mind went blank. The only thing that was going through his mind was the word "love" over and over again. And before he even realized what he was doing, he had walked the rest of the way across the room, closed his eyes, and kissed Cas on the lips.

It wasn't a long kiss, and Cas didn't move an inch the whole time. But it felt so good that Dean had to force himself to move away. It was only when he opened his eyes that he truly realized what he had done. The horror on Cas's face was enough to make his heart race with fear that he had made a horrible mistake.

Did Cas still think he was Jo? Or did he figure out that it was actually him? It didn't matter in the end, because now both boys were stunned into silence.

Dean desperately wanted to say something, anything. But any confidence he'd had before was now utterly gone. All he could think about was how unhappy Cas looked, and how much it hurt. And he was the one who had made Cas look like that. Whether or not Cas already knew who he was, his expression made it clear that he would be furious with Dean now.

Only a few seconds after the kiss, Dean turned to leave. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Cas that he felt the same way, not now that he had so royally screwed everything up. Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket, still sitting folded up on the desk, when he noticed it. And with one last glance at Cas's heartbroken face, Dean turned to run out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the house. He hated himself more than he ever had before. Why hadn't he been able to control himself, or better yet, why hadn't he told Cas right away who he was? Then maybe he would still be back in Cas's room, having an actual conversation with him, instead of walking home by himself, sick with worry that Cas might not love him now that he probably thought Dean had taken advantage of him.

Dean was very seriously considering locking himself in his room and never leaving again.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas sat on the edge of his bed for what seemed like forever. He was trying so desperately to sort out his thoughts, but he didn't even know where to begin. He felt hopeless. He had been counting on Jo valuing their friendship too much to let anything ruin it. He had expected her to be upset, but also understand that his feelings for Dean weren't just something he could push away. The last thing he had expected was for her to kiss him right after he told her, straight out, that he loved Dean.

It seemed pretty obvious to him, at the moment at least, that it was her way of saying goodbye. Why else would she do something like that and then leave without a word? But it felt permanent, like she couldn't bear to be just friends with him anymore, so she decided it would be better if they were nothing at all. That hurt more than Cas could take. His best friend had just kissed him and walked out of his life, and it was honestly a miracle he hadn't broken down in tears yet.

Then his thoughts turned to Dean. How was he supposed to tell Dean now? He had been planning on getting some much needed advice from Jo about what he should do. Without her to guide him, there was no way he would ever get the courage to confess his love for Dean. Especially not after how the last confession had gone.

And what if Dean didn't feel the same way? There had been moments in the past where Cas had been convinced that Dean must like him back, but something always happened to make him doubt it. Now, without Jo to tell him what she thought he should do, he was less sure than ever. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his only other friend in the world. If it meant having to lie to Dean... well it was a small concession if it allowed him to keep his best friend.

Right as he had accepted defeat, his door banged open. He had closed it after Jo left, and it made him jump in surprise. Of course, that was nothing compared to his surprise when he heard Jo's voice saying, "Cas, I'm so sorry!"

That was unexpected to say the least. Cas opened his mouth to say something, although he wasn't quite sure what, but Jo was already barreling on.

"You must be so angry with me, and you should be! How could I have left you like that? I mean yeah, I had to go to the library, but how could I have left you then, right after you admitted something like that to me? I should have just told Ruby to go screw herself and stayed with you. I was just... I was so mad and hurt and jealous and I wasn't thinking straight. But I've had a while to think now, and I needed to tell you how sorry I am. Nothing is more important than you and our friendship, and I can't expect you to forgive me for how I've been acting lately. But... I'm asking you to. Please, Cas?"

Needless to say, Cas was in shock. He was trying to understand what she had just said, but it wasn't making sense. Why wasn't she mentioning the kiss? In fact, she wasn't mentioning anything after their conversation in the classroom. But wouldn't that suggest that nothing had actually happened after that? And that would mean she hadn't actually kissed him.

Now that he thought about it, the person had never identified themself. He had just assumed it was Jo, and when he said her name and it wasn't denied, he had naturally been convinced it was her. But if it wasn't Jo... who was it? There was only one other option, and it set his heart racing.

"Jo!" Cas said suddenly. "Is there a jacket on the desk?" It hadn't even occurred to him until right now, but he was almost sure he had heard a strange rustling on the desk right before the person had ran out.

"Um... no? Cas, what does that have to do with–?

Cas's face broke out in a radiant smile, and Jo was stopped short in confusion. Cas let out a quiet, thrilled laugh, and jumped up to give Jo a huge hug. It was a bit hard to find her at first because she had backed away from him in surprise, but when he found her he wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders and said, "I forgive you, Jo. I can't tell you how happy I am that you came over, and I want you to know that everything is fine now. Everything is great!"

Jo was understandably a bit unsure how to reply to this. Only moments before, Cas had been sitting dejectedly on his bed, and now he was looking happier than he had in weeks. "Cas, what happened? What did I say?"

It was then that Jo's phone rang in her pocket. Cursing under her breath, she removed her arms from where they had been loosely hanging around Cas's waist and pulled it out of her pocket. Groaning in annoyance, she said, "It's my mom. She's mad I'm so late. I'm so sorry for leaving you again, but I have to go. But Cas, seriously, what did I say?"

Cas smiled and replied, "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Right now, I just want to say I'm so much better now than I've been in a long time, thanks to you."

This didn't do much to explain his strange behavior to Jo, but she couldn't bring herself to complain when she saw how genuinely content he looked. So instead, she just smiled and said, "Ok, you can tell me tomorrow. And Cas, I just wanted to say that you and Dean have my blessing." The smile turned teasing as she continued, "I'm pretty sure he'd be thrilled if you told him what you told me."

Cas just laughed again in return and gave her another hug. This one she returned enthusiastically, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. A few seconds later, she pulled away. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said with one more smile to match his, even if he couldn't see it.

"See you tomorrow," Cas replied as she walked out, leaving the door still hanging open behind her.

Cas sat back down on his bed, feeling miles better than he had ten minutes ago. Not only did he have Jo back, but he was now sure it had actually been Dean who kissed him. Who else would have taken the jacket before leaving? Unfortunately, that was when Cas's excitement started to wane.

Dean had left. Why? If he liked Cas enough to kiss him, why would he leave right afterwards without saying anything? Doubt began to creep back in as Cas started considering the possibility that Dean might regret what he did. Maybe he had just been surprised and overwhelmed by Cas's confession, and hadn't thought about what he was doing. Why else would be have ran away? But this just made Cas worry that Dean didn't actually feel the same way. Wouldn't he have stayed if he did?

Cas tried not to lose hope, but he couldn't find any other explanation for Dean's strange behavior. If he loved him, or even just liked him, back, he wouldn't have regretted his actions enough to leave.

Just as he had accepted defeat once and for all, someone else ran into the room. "Cas!" Cas's heart skipped a beat. It was Dean.

"Cas... oh god, I'm so... sorry!" Dean was breathing heavily, clearly having run there. "I shouldn't have... left like that."

Cas just sat there, listening as Dean tried to catch his breath. This time he was the one to stay silent.

"I can't even imagine what you must think of me right now," Dean finally continued. "I just didn't know what to do! I mean, I let you think I was Jo, and then I kissed you? And I realized that you must have figured out it was me, and you looked so upset, I just couldn't take it. I couldn't take that look on your face, knowing I made you look at me like that. I just... I wanted so bad to tell you that I like you too, maybe even... well you know, what you said. And I was just so worried that you thought I was taking advantage of you or some–"

That was when Cas abruptly cut Dean off. It didn't take him much effort to find Dean while he was talking, and Dean didn't even seem to notice his approach until Cas gently reached behind his head and pulled him into a much more confident kiss than the last had been. Dean froze at first, clearly shocked, but eventually he melted into the kiss, tilting his head a bit and wrapping his arms around Cas's waist, pulling him closer. Cas was in heaven.

Much too soon, Dean pulled away, although he kept his arms around Cas. "Well that was a nice surprise." Cas grinned in return and finally spoke.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while. I think I picked a good moment."

Dean chuckled quietly before saying, "So… did you not know it was me? And what does this mean? Does this make us boyfriends or something, cause let me tell you, Sam would probably have a fit if I came home and we still–"

Cas cut him off once again. Kissing was proving to be a very effective way to stop Dean's ramblings. And as they both lost themselves in what Cas hoped was one of many kisses to come, there was a silent agreement that they would talk about the details later. There were more important things to do right now.


	9. Epilogue

Although they hadn't said anything explicitly yet, both Cas and Dean had silently agreed that being boyfriends was clearly the best option. Of course, Cas's dad coming home and catching them a few minutes after they had started kissing shook Cas up considerably. But his father just gave them a small smile and said, "Dinner in five boys, if you're hungry," before leaving the door open behind him as he left. Despite being grateful for his father's acceptance, Cas couldn't stop freaking out until Dean had kissed him senseless again, which was proving to be a surprisingly easy thing to do. Dean declined staying for dinner though, saying Sam would probably be dying for an update. He was proved right when he got home to find Sam sitting in their living room and reading a book while impatiently tapping his foot.

"So?" he asked Dean as soon as his older brother set foot in the room. Dean just smiled and raised his eyebrows suggestively. This successfully got an eye-roll out of Sam, but he didn't do a very good job hiding his happy, and slightly proud, smile. "Mission accomplished," he thought proudly to himself.

The next day, Jo just smiled at them when Cas grabbed Dean's hand on the way out of school. After they had left the English classroom, Cas reached out his other arm to link with hers. Jo let out a small, happy laugh as she grabbed Cas's arm, and the three of them walked out of the school together. Even though things were clearly different now, all of them couldn't help thinking it felt like everything was finally back to normal.

Months passed. Dean and Cas eventually cleared up all of the confusion surrounding the way they had gotten together, and were both amazed at how slow they had been to understand the other. Jo was just amazed that Cas had mistaken Dean's "inferior" kissing for her own, which earned her a laugh from Cas and an impressive glare from Dean.

The end of their senior year was approaching quickly, and while Jo and Cas were excited, Dean found himself dreading it. Jo was going to Chicago State University and Cas had gotten accepted into Northwestern. They were both thrilled that they were going to be so close to each other, even if they weren't going to the same school, but all Dean could think about was how they would be leaving him behind. It wasn't like he regretted choosing not to go to college. He'd never planned on it after all. But he would miss them more than he was willing to admit.

This is why the day when Cas asked Dean to come with him was probably the best day of Dean's life. Dean never gave Cas a spoken answer, but the hug that literally swept Cas off his feet and the deep kiss Dean gave him after the question served as more than enough of a reply.

They all decided to leave together that summer. Sam came over to Cas's house with Dean to say goodbye. He had never been as close with Cas and Jo as Dean was, but he was still going to miss them. And of course he was going to miss Dean more than he could ever say. He gave all three of them warm hugs before they got in their cars. Dean gave him a second hug, along with a, "See you soon, Sammy," before climbing into the driver's seat of his Impala next to Cas. Sam waved at them as they drove off.

As they made their way to Chicago, Cas couldn't keep himself from smiling. He found it hard to believe that he was here, that something like this was happening to him. Dean glanced over and saw the tiny smile. Even though Cas couldn't see it, Dean smiled back and reached over to grab Cas's hand, holding it in between the seats. And although neither of them said anything, they were both in agreement that, in that moment, they were the two luckiest people in the world.


End file.
